Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize