Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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