Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
