This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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