WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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