im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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