Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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