you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
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The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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