Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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