I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
