That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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