If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
