In the future we'll all be gay
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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