Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
