I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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