Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
