is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
