Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
