Fuck appropriateness.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
