mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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