Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
