gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
