I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize