Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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