And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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