i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so let's talk penis.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
