Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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