Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
