I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
