His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
