Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
