I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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