You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
