So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
50% drunk capacity currently
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
