You can't motorboat a personality
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
