i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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