How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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