Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
