Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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