I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize