I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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