I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is wine microwaveable?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
