Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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