I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
