Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
