I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
