How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am midnight drunk by noon
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
