she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
