oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
this will be a night to untag.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
