No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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