How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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