Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
