no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
