And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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