...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
