people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
