the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
