I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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