Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
