Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
