Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
