Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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