My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
