"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
