I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
