How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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