Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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