we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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