you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
