The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
