So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
