Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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